Navigating The Aging Journey:  Signs Your Parents Need Assistance, Part 1

by Barbara C. Oberman, Senior Living Solutions, Inc.,

“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.”    Marcel Proust

Reflecting on my journey of caring for my mother, I realize how hindsight truly offers clarity.  Witnessing the gradual changes in her health and independence has taught me invaluable lessons.  Your parents may presently be vibrant and active, engaging in various activities, but it’s crucial to remain vigilant for signs indicating they need assistance as they age.

In my experience the realization dawned after a car accident that totaled my mother’s vehicle, promptly her decision to cease driving.  Initially, it seemed like a precautionary measure, but it became evident that this incident marked the beginning of a more significant decline.  The subtle nuances, like confusion over directions, once dismissed as trivial, hinted at deeper underlying issues.  Eventually, we confronted the harsh reality of dementia, a diagnosis that reshaped our lives profoundly.

As adult children, we cannot halt the aging process, but we can provide invaluable support and guidance as our parents navigate this inevitable journey.  Recognizing the stages of decline is important in offering timely assistance and ensuring their well-being.  Here are some indicators to watch out for:

  1. Forgetfulness: Persistent forgetfulness or memory lapses that disrupt daily routines and activities could signal cognitive decline. Signs: leaving notes throughout the house.
  2. Changes in Behavior: Noticeable changes in mood, temperament, or personality. Signs: She’s not herself anymore.  She is irritable and cranky.
  3. Physical Limitations: Difficulty with mobility and balance.
  4. Neglect of Finances: Inability to keep up with bills. Signs of disorganization, unopened mail, unpaid bills are piling up.
  5. Health Issues: Chronic illnesses and frequent visits to the doctor’s office or emergency department
  6. Decline in Personal Hygiene: Neglecting personal grooming or hygiene could be a sign of cognitive impairment.
  7. Difficulty communicating: Struggling to follow conversations, express thoughts coherently or comprehend information may be a signal of cognitive impairment
  8. Safety concerns: Accidents such as falls or kitchen mishaps such as leaving the stove on.
  9. Memory lapse: Confusion on how to go home or to familiar places

As a guardian of our parent’s well-being, it’s essential to approach these signs with empathy, patience, and proactive support, to sensitively address their changing needs, exploring resources and involving healthcare professionals can help a smoother transition towards appropriate care.

While we cannot alter the passage of time, we can walk alongside our parents, offering our support, love, and guidance as they navigate their changing needs.  Through our vigilance, compassion, and open communication we can assure their lives are filled with dignity, comfort, and cherished memories.

A second article is forthcoming addressing how to craft a plan for the journey ahead.

 

Navigating the Aging Journey:  Creating a Care Plan for Aging Parents, Part 2

By Barbara C. Oberman Senior Living Solutions, Inc.

As the realization dawns on you that your parents may need assistance, the uncertainty of what lies ahead can feel overwhelming. How do you create a plan when the road ahead is unclear? Here are helpful steps to initiate the journey of caring for your loved ones.

  1. Consult with Healthcare Professionals and Family: Begin by discussing your observations with your parent’s primary care doctor and close family members. They may provide insights or confirm suspicions, such as an existing diagnosis that was not revealed. Surprisingly, my mother’s geriatrician neglected to advise me of my mother’s dementia diagnosis for a year.
  2. Explore Care Options: Depending on the assessment from healthcare professionals, your doctor may recommend consulting with a geriatric case manager or suggest exploring private caregiving services or speaking with a residential placement agency. These professionals can offer tailored guidance and support based on your parents’ specific needs and circumstances.
  3. Assess Financial Resources: Understanding your parent’s financial situation is crucial for planning long-term care. Determine if they have long term care insurance, savings, or other assets that can contribute to their care expenses.  This assessment helps you make informed decisions about available care options and financial planning.
  4. Address Emotional and Practical Challenges: Caring for aging parents involves navigating a myriad of emotional and practical challenges.  From dealing with feelings of guild and uncertainty to managing complex family dynamics, coordinating doctors’ appointments, transportation, ER visits and medication management, caring for your elderly parents can be stressful.
  5. Develop a Comprehensive Care Plan: Collaborate with healthcare professionals and family members to develop a comprehensive care plan tailored to your parent’s evolving needs.  This plan should include medical care, daily assistance, and emotional support to help you navigate the caregiving journey.
  6. Seek Support Networks: You do not have to take this journey alone. Seek out support networks such as a caregiver support group or online communities, where you can connect with others facing similar challenges. These networks offer valuable resources, advice, and emotional support to help you on your journey.
  7. Regularly Review and Adjust the Plan: Recognize that the caregiving journey is fluid, and your parents’ needs may change over time.  Schedule regular reviews of the care plan with healthcare professionals and family members to reassess priorities, address emerging challenges, and make necessary adjustments. My mother’s evolving changes required annual adjustments.

In conclusion, embarking on the journey of caring for your aging loved ones requires careful planning, open communication, and a willingness to adjust to changing circumstances.  By consulting with healthcare professionals, assessing financial resources, and addressing emotional challenges, you can create a roadmap that ensures your loved ones receive the care and support they deserve.  Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and seeking support from others can provide invaluable guidance and comfort along the way.